Something you may or may not know about Woolly Badger knitting patterns is that 10% of all sales goes to Bristol-based perinatal mental health charity Bluebell Care. I possibly haven’t talked about it enough up until now, because I’ve been so busy trying to get patterns ready and test knits done and websites built and all that other bumpf that goes into a knitting pattern business that isn’t just sitting and doing some knitting.
But I want to be very clear on why it is that I’m supporting Bluebell by donating a portion of every single sale I make. It’s because they’re truly amazing, and very possibly saved my life.
I’ve had struggles with anxiety and depression in the past, and spent my late 20s on and off medication, before finally deciding (somewhere around my 30th birthday) that I just needed the boost that antidepressants give me to be able to function properly. I’ve spent the best part of a decade in therapy. I stopped drinking. I started walking absolutely everywhere. I quit my high-stress job, and moved out of London to Bristol, which is a way more chilled city.
In short, I did everything you’re supposed to do to help manage mental ill-health, and on the whole, it worked pretty well.
But, after the birth of my second son last year, I found myself dealing with the scarily familiar relentless weeping and feelings of hopeless failure. I knew what it was. I knew what was coming. And I felt totally and utterly powerless to stop it; after all, I’d done all the Right Things and still found myself buried under postnatal depression.
It was awful.
Thank God, though, for Bluebell. I will be singing their praises for the rest of my life. At a point where I was properly despondent, they came along and they helped me. The thing that makes Bluebell different – and, in my opinion, properly amazing – is that the women who work and volunteer there have all experienced perinatal depression and/or anxiety. And they’ve come through it, and got well, and committed to helping other women. They are literal lifesavers.
Back in the winter, when I was feeling Not Good, I was assigned a Bluebell Buddy who came out and talked to me and supported me. I was gently encouraged to go along to Bluebell Place, their hub in the centre of Bristol (which has been closed thanks to Covid, but will hopefully be back soon), and join in some of their weekly groups. They gave me a spot on their Mum’s Comfort Zone course, which was perhaps the single biggest help in my recovery.
And when the pandemic hit, they kept their support going through phonecalls, and their facebook page, and even put me forward for a course on Maternal Journal (another thing well worth looking at).
And they did all this for free. FOR FREE. I didn’t have to pay a single penny for all this support. Families can access their support regardless of income, which is truly remarkable for mental health.
So, of course I want to give something back to them. Of course I do.
Plus, knitting and mental health are good bedfellows. I’ve long believed in the soothing power of knitting. I think it’s the combination of repetitive movement being enough to calm me down, with the sense of achievement from actually making something. I’ve never really analysed it too much, if I’m honest. All I know is that knitting makes me feel better, and that’s all I really need to know. So if I can help other women feel better by donating some of my sales, then I’m going to.
I’m hoping that one day soon I’ll be able to support them in person as well; pre-Covid, Bluebell ran a knitting and crochet drop in called “Woolly Wednesday”, and I’m planning to go and help out there as soon as I possibly can. Because sometimes you do just need a nice cup of tea, a sit down, and a bit of crafting.